Getting a Massage? Speak Up!
About a year before the notion of becoming a massage therapist even crossed my mind, I got a couple’s massage with a friend. I was still fairly new to receiving bodywork, and it was, even to this day, the worst massage I’ve ever received.
It started out well enough. I filled out a health intake form. My massage therapist asked me what was experiencing tension, and I said my shoulders (especially my right one) were bothering me.
My friend and I got on the tables, and our massage therapists got started. Soon, I realized that what my massage therapist was doing was causing me searing pain. His idea of addressing my shoulders was to deliver heavy pressure to the area and to crank on my shoulder blades so they “winged,” then to dig around under them. He didn’t do much else during the session. Never once did he ask how his pressure felt, and never once did he adjust his technique as I flinched and cringed. To be fair, though, never once did I tell him I was uncomfortable. It was 90 minutes of hell.
I came out of there red and bruised. That night, I felt flu-like symptoms…nausea, chills, a low-grade fever. He hadn’t advised me to drink plenty of water, so being the newbie that I was, I didn’t. I felt awful. I didn’t know what to do to alleviate the pain, so I took a hot shower. That only made me more miserable. (Ice can be soothing after invasive, deeper work, I now know.)
Writing this, I feel anger toward him for obvious reasons, but also judgment toward myself. Why didn’t I feel comfortable enough to speak up? My friend probably wouldn’t have judged me, and my massage therapist probably would have lightened up. I’m sure he’d heard from other clients that he was heavy-handed.
Since then, I learned in massage school that there is a significant power differential between the client (naked or nearly naked, lying down, often half-asleep, and probably rather uninformed about anatomy, physiology, etc.) and the massage therapist (clothed, standing, alert, and educated).
It can feel intimidating to address your concerns. Do it anyway. Consider my story as your cautionary tale. If you’re receiving a massage and something doesn’t feel right, please, please speak up! Here’s a little laundry list for you to assess throughout the session:
Are the temperature in the room and on the table ok?
Do your face and neck feel comfortable in the face cradle?
Is your massage therapist communicating with you?
Is the pressure okay?
Is the technique comfortable for you?
Do you feel yourself flinching, guarding or holding your breath?
Do you feel fearful or anxious?
Do you know what to expect and what to do after the session?
If something feels uncomfortable or unclear, your massage therapist will want to know so they can make it right. Don’t be shy or awkward like me, and don’t be overwhelmed by the “authority” of the person working on you. You have the agency and power to help make your massage a pleasant and positive experience.